I use to write diaries here...I no longer do so...lots of reasons why.
Haven't had any work for 8 months, am broke, disgusted with life as I am being forced to live it and even more disgusted with those that are so concerned about their bigger house, new car, next technological toy...me, I worry about where my next meal will come from, or if I will have to move into my truck soon (and I'm the majority anymore).
I was the person that did a diary or two during Katrina, did a tribute to Tirawa and the work he did with children in Katrina and I wrote about my sister's struggle with cancer...
today is the 3rd anniversary of her death...it hasn't gotten easier...
I want to pay tribute and raise a toast to my sister. Betti was on the eve of her 51st birthday when she was diagnosed with AML. This a deadly form of leukemia and in her case it was caused by a BENZENE spill 14 years prior. (made national news)
Betti led us (her 'far away' family) to believe that they had the cancer under control and that her treatments would end in September of '06 and for us to travel to Wisconsin to see her then. My Mom and I made plans to spend the month of September in Wisconsin.
In August we received frantic calls, my sister had fallen in the hospital and suffered a brain bleed, they were doubtful she'd survive...I remember my shock and feeling numb...
I called my Mother, we were on the road from California within 48 hours and there 72 hours after that. She was stable, but she had lost most of her sight...
I remember not wanting to leave her side and just share time and go through stories of us as kids. I wanted to get her wisdom...she was oh so wise...
It was getting to Wisconsin and talking with my brother (the medical person in our family) and the doctors that I realized that because her cancer was chemically induced remission would NEVER happen, then when the daily blood and platelet transfusions stopped working the cancer would take over and it would be a matter of days before she would die.
DIE...
What had she ever done to deserve the last seven months of hell her life was, being in a hospital for the majority of it, needles stuck in her, caustic chemicals pouring into her veins when they KNEW it WOULDN'T WORK...
I lost my sister, she knew there was no hope and said 'enough'. She slipped into a coma within 2 days and we lost her on September 22, 2006.
No she didn't have insurance, she was one of the millions of us that were of the WORKING POOR CLASS.
The beauty of Betti was within her SOUL...she went through hell all of her life and yet she found pleasure in the SIMPLE things...a new foal, new calf, something one of her children did that made her smile. Getting her drive plowed in the winter so she could get to town!!!
She NEVER was rich with money, but she was rich in LIFE.
Now as I go through my trials and tribulations with no work and worrying daily, I gain my strength from my SISTER and the power of her words from years past....
She wasn't any better then the next person, but she was an HONEST, HARD WORKING and HONEST.
God I MISS HER...she'd know what to say to me now...
Please go through your day today and think of Betti and then do something NICE and CARING for someone you DON'T know, but who is struggling...that's what she did every day of her life.
Namaste'
Barbara